六级写作冲刺模拟题第5关

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1 Directions: For this part, you are allowed 30 minutes to write a short essay on cherishing what you have by referring to Helen Keller’s famous words, “If, by some miracle, I were granted three seeing days，to be followed by a relapse into darkness, I should divide the period into three parts…” You can cite examples to illustrate your point. You should write at least 150 words but no more than 200 words.

参考答案：It is well acknowledged that Helen Keller, blind and deaf but firm in spirit, has greatly influenced generations of people with her book titled Three Days to See. Till now, her famous words, “If, by some miracle, I were granted three seeing days...”, have been echoing through my minds. So what I am trying to emphasize is cherishing what you have at the moment.
In the first place, we should treasure the planet we are living in. We would be ruined by ourselves if we never took any action on pollution, deforestation, energy consumption, and global warming that pose threat to our planet. In the second place, we need to take good care of ourselves. A famous American thinker called Emerson once said, “The first wealth is health.” For many, however, health is not valued until sickness strikes. In the third place, we ought to value our family and friends. “Sometimes our hearts get tangled and our souls a little off-kilter, friends and family can set us right and help guide us back to the light.”
Thus, it’s high time we cherished what we have right now and strived for a bright future by sparing no efforts to protect the planet, health, family and friends since we cannot live without them.
系统解析：
范文点评：
1.开篇引入海伦.凯勒的名作及名言。
2.首段末句明确表达自己的态度：应珍惜所拥有的一切。
3.分三个层次论证自己的观点，并结合具体事例加以论证。
4.末段总结全文，重申观点。
句法点评：
1. It is well acknowledged that Helen Keller, blind and deaf but firm in spirit, has greatly influenced generations of people with her book titled Three Days to See.
这句话中it为形式主语，真正的主语是that引导的主语从句，该句型意为“众所周知，普遍认为……”，还可以表达为it is universally/ acknowledged that..., it is well-known that...等。
2. For many, however, health is not valued until sickness strikes.
本句属于not...until...句型，表示“直到……才……”，有强调的意味。强烈的语言色彩易给读者留下深刻的印象。

2 Directions: For this part, you are allowed 30 minutes to write a short essay on making true friends by commenting on the remark, “As we grow up, we realize it becomes less important to have more friends and more important to have real ones.” You can cite examples to illustrate your point. You should write at least 150 words but no more than 200 words.

参考答案：“As we grow up, we realize it becomes less important to have more friends and more important to have real ones.” This remark implies that real friends are important to our life. Therefore, we should make true friends.
True friends always help and learn from each other; true friends are always loyal to each other; true friends always keep a secret for each other; true friends are always dependable and reliable; true friends never take advantage of each other; true friends may not share the same way of life, but they are likely to share the same way of thinking. In a word, true friends are friends through thick and thin.
Everyone needs friends. We can share happiness and sorrows with our friends. When we are in trouble, we can turn to them. It’s a pity that only true friends can do that. Just as an old saying goes, “A friend in need is a friend indeed.” Since the number of friends may not be so important, we should make friends with those who are honest and reliable.
系统解析：
范文点评：
1.开篇引入引言，并揭示引言含义。
2.首段末句提出文章论点：我们要交真正的朋友。
3.用排比论证的方式阐述什么是真正的朋友。
4.对上文论述进行总结。
5.末段进一步阐述交真正朋友的重要意义。
6.末句重申观点，结束全文。
句法点评：
1. As we grow up, we realize it becomes less important to have more friends and more important to have real ones.
as引导时间状语从句，it为宾语从句中的形式主语，真正的主语是不定式 to have more friends 和 to have real ones；宾语从句中less important和more important构成对照关系，共同充当宾语从句中的表语。
2. it’s a pity that only true friends can do that.
此句为主语从句句式：It’s +n. + that从句，主语从句句式的使用增加了文章句式的多样化。

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