六级写作冲刺模拟题第9关

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1 Directions: For this part, you are allowed 30 minutes to write a short essay on health and wealth by commenting on the remark, “Health is certainly more valuable than money，because it is by health that money is procured.” You can cite examples to illustrate your point. You should write at least 150 words but no more than 200 words.

参考答案：“Health is certainly more valuable than money, because it is by health that money is procured.” The remark demonstrates the relationship between health and wealth. Meanwhile, it also indicates that health is more important than wealth.
So far as this topic is concerned, different people have different opinions about it. Some insist that health play a more important role in our life. They believe that without good health they may never enjoy themselves even if they have a large fortune. If they want to become wealthy, they must keep healthy. On the contrary, some people see more advantages arising from wealth. They think if they have enough money, they can do whatever they want to do, such as buying a big house, expensive car, or beautiful clothes.
As far as I am concerned, I am in favor of the former view that health plays a more important role in our life. However, there is no doubt that money is indispensable for everyone; without money we lose the capital to enjoy life. Therefore, we should attach adequate importance to both health and wealth.
系统解析：
范文点评：
1.开篇简要评论题目中的引言，同时准确传递出引言的含义：健康比金钱重要。
2.就健康和财富这一话题展开论述，紧扣作文话题。
3.阐述两种相对立的观点。
4.明确表达自己的观点，表示赞同前一种观点。
5.进一步补充指出健康和财富二者兼顾的重要性。
句法点评：
1. So far as this topic is concerned, different people have different opinions about it.
此处用到了固定用法：so far as…concerned，意为“就......来说，就......而言”。
2. Some insist that health play a more important role in our life.
此处用到了虚拟语气，insist后跟that从句时，如果insist表示“坚决主张；坚决要求”时，其后由that引导的宾语从句需用虚拟语气，从句中的谓语动词用“should +动词原形”的形式，should可以省略。
3. However, there is no doubt that money is indispensable for everyone.
本句为There is no doubt that...句型，意为“毫无疑问，毋庸置疑……”。

2 Directions: For this part, you are allowed 30 minutes to write a short essay entitled Pride Goes Before a Fall. You can explain how you understand the saying by citing examples. You should write at least 150 words but no more than 200 words.

参考答案：Pride Goes Before a Fall
“Pride goes before a fall” is a proverb with which all of us are familiar. I fully agree with it. For me, this saying can be proved from three aspects.
First of all, if you indulge yourself in the past glory and are too proud of your success, you will overestimate your competence, which prevents you from making progress. As a result, you may neglect the potential crisis and end up in failure. Furthermore, every one of us cherishes a fantastic dream in our heart—the ultimate goal of our life. If we want to make our dream come true or realize the final goal, we should never stop the pursuit of it. Lastly, great men in history are always modest. Their tolerance and openness have been proved vital to their success.
Modesty makes one go forward while conceit makes one lag behind. Knowing that there is still room for improvement, we will keep making progress and perfecting ourselves.
系统解析：
范文点评：
1.开篇引入谚语，指出该谚语广为人知。
2.自然过渡，表明自己赞同谚语的说法，并指出可以从三个方面证明谚语的观点。
3.分三个层次论证自己的观点，条理清晰，论证有力。first of all，furthermore，lastly 分别相当于 firstly，secondly，thirdly，表示论述的先后顺序，应多注意积累同义表达，以避免俗套和语言的贫乏。
4.重申观点，指出谦虚方知有进步的空间。
句法点评：
1. “Pride goes before a fall” is a proverb with which all of us are very familiar.
此处用到了”with+which”引导的定语从句，which指代前面的proverb，with来自于短语 be familiar with。
2. Modesty makes one go forward while conceit makes one lag behind.
本句对应中文“谦虚使人进步，骄傲使人落后”，连词while表示前后对比，常译作“而”，此处对应的中文译文前后两个分句喑含了对比、对照的意思。

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